As already quoted from Warren's entertaining work, Ten Thousand a Year; when
little insignificant Tittlebat Titmouse, a London draper's shopman,
came unexpectedly, and under a mistake, (as is afterwards shown) into
possession of the large annual income named as the title of this book,
he resolved to dye his objectionable carroty locks, and used for this
purpose a widely-advertised hair dye—"
Cyano-chaitanthro-popoion,"—which, sad to relate, turned his obnoxious
red locks to a vivid green ! Filled with concern because of such a
distressing result, the mortified little cad then had recourse to
another pretentious nostrum— " Damascus Cream,"—at a cost of
three-and-sixpence the bottle. But, alas ! this made matters worse, by
changing his head of hair to purple, or violet. In indignant despair he
was driven to the " Tetragmenon Abracadabra; " vaunted, and puffed as
absolutely certain of success, at nine-and-sixpence the flask; which,
on being opened, furnished a fluid colourless, and with a most infernal
smell. After vigorous use thereof overnight, poor little Tittlebat
woke to find his eyebrows, and whiskers, white as the driven snow;
whilst—to complete the picture—his hair remained more purple than
before. It being Sunday morning his landlady could not buy a bottle of
ink for remedial use ; so had to suggest " blacking" ; which proved a
miserable failure, as far as restoring any colour to the bleached
facial appendages.
On
the recognised medicinal principle of cure by any metal (or other
toxical substance) which, when given in harmful quantity induces
poisonous results, but which, when administered medicinally in much
reduced, or diluted, and harmless doses, obviates
